December 2008 Archives

Hackers (like in the film Hackers) broke into my GMail account and tried to use it to flog broken tellies to all my friends. I am sorry internet friends! Ironically it sent one back to me and it got filtered out by GMail's excellent spam filter, so I wouldn't have known about it if someone hadn't shouted at me. I have changed all my passwords so that this betrayal of your trust shall NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. As a punishment for my lax password security I am now going to have slightly awkward conversations with lots of people I don't know very well that my mother has invited round for a drinks party! Maybe THIS is the REAL story of Xmas.

It's about a bloke in India going on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to impress a girl or something. I have 1 x free ticket for it, you have to come to Streatham Odeon at 11am on Sunday though. Also you have to sit next to me and hold my hand. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Londoners, pull your socks up. For decades we've held the crown of the loneliest place in the UK, now we've lost it to bloody Edinburgh. If we all pull apart and stop being so complacent in our efforts to hate each other, we can be back at the top by 2011.

If we're not careful, we could find ourselves having as many friends as the people of Stoke, and then where would we be? So, people of London, next time you're introduced to someone new, punch them hard in the face whilst loudly insulting their family. We can do this!