September 2008 Archives

Whenever I am sad, I think about the films that The Asylum make. They look for upcoming movies that look like they're going to be smash hits, change the titles slightly, make a very cheap film to fit & then flog them on DVD at the same time as the original blockbusters are released.

I've never actually seen one, but the crappy titles are enough to please me:

Alien VS Hunter
Transmorphers
I Am Omega
Sunday School Musical
666: The Child
The Da Vinci Treasure
Snakes on a Train

See if you can guess what films they were trying to cash in on!

Today's Radio 4 afternoon play was a special episode of Torchwood where it turned out the Large Hadron Collider was made of aliens! Or possibly angels! I wasn't paying that much attention. All future scientific events should be documented by Very Special Episodes of Torchwood.

"And now on Radio 4, John Barrowman sucks off a Higgs boson particle!"

Yes, because what the X-Files was really lacking up 'til now was Billy Connolly as a paedophile priest.

Stunningly dull, and chiefly an exercise in grinding out any goodwill lingering after the bucket of arsewater that comprised (most of) the final seasons of the TV show. It would be better value to spend the ticket money on a big bottle of cider, then share it with a tramp whilst asking him his opinions on the importance of faith over scientific fact.

Oh, and be prepared for some hilarious satires as the camera lingers on a picture of George W Bush whilst the X-Files theme plays! OH CHRIS CARTER YOU ARE SUCH A CARD!